As I sit here with my very large glass of Ravenswood Zinfandel and half eaten salted dark chocolate bar, I reflect on what it has taken for me to get to this point. How many projects, how many thrifting trips, how many paint brushes and how many social media posts did it take for me to validate the idea of wanting to start a website/blog? It took a lot. But do you know what the one thing that was effective enough to push me to the end for its official launch? A fucking world pandemic. That is embarrassing and I am ashamed. I had so much drive and so much motivation to get this launched and I let life get in the way. It took for the world to shut down for me to finally dedicate and prioritize my time to ACTUALLY make it happen.
I know there has been a lot of pain, life and heartbreak shed as a result of this pandemic and because of that, I feel a sense of guilt admitting that I am somewhat grateful for what it has done for me. It has forced me to SLOW. THE. FRICK. DOWN. To prioritize what really makes me happy and feeds me joy throughout the day. It has given me the space and the time to tackle things that I never did while life was running at Autobhan highway speeds. And not all of those things that I refer to are “projects”. Some of those things are watching 3 movies in one single night, doing multiple face masks a week, going for daily walks, actually making my bed every morning… the list goes on! Things that I never prioritized but always wished I could. However, a lot of those other things that I am now finally able to get to are indeed just that: PROJECTS! Whether they are projects that I haven’t gotten down the list to yet or whether they were ones that were only 95% completed and the lingering 5% was never appealing enough to commit the time to finishing…. I now finally have the time to do them! You see, I’ve always been GO GO GO. I thrive under pressure and get antsy when I’m bored so I always make a point to fill my time. And sometimes “fill” means jam-it-packed-with-as-many-things-as-you-can-so-that-you-barely-have-time-to-brush-your-teeth-and-get-6-hours-of-sleep-per-night. But that was my normal and I was used to it. It had blind folded me for so long that I didn’t realize what I was missing by actually stepping back (oxymoron if I don’t say so myself).
Now the biggest test of them all: to keep the momentum when this quarantine subsides and the world tries to jump back into hyper speed; to force myself to be intentional with what I spend my time on; to prioritize this website/blog and these projects because they bring me joy; to be mindful of my audience and how I can help teach you, inspire you and be motivated by you in return.
And that my friends… is what I promise you. I promise you that it won’t take another world pandemic for me to finally put myself and my passions first. I will use this website/blog as another creative outlet for me to share this passion project of mine in hopes that it will bring you some resemblance of the joy that is has brought me.
Quarantine made me do it… and I’m not complaining!